I wonder what would of happened if I had said something then.

This is where some shit I didn’t say would have went

This is where some shit I did say but made overly complicated would have boiled down to clarity and perfection.

This is for anyone and anybody.  Hated.  Loved.  Friends.  Enemies.

This is some of the realest shit I never wrote.

Dedicated.  To you.

Real people aren’t.

See life is your greatest test and also the greatest threat,
No knowing if your dreams will manifest.
But even if they don’t I can attest,
that I gave 100 and said fuck anything less. 

Say you’re on the rise,

but how do you catch such a revelation with your eyes,

so low?

Sinkin ever deep into that comatose

Arise. 

Swirling green smoke arise.

Arise to take over as your conscious meets demise.

I surmise, for I meets eye and I see that

my eyes decieve me for what I believe to be truth.

or maybe a lie which has lied.

So we come back full circle.

Eyes closed, mind drifting.  reassuring there’s focus

you tell me this is the way it should be

and revelation is reaching closeness 

but all i see

pieces floating reaching forever for something out of grasp

A sudden moment of clarity 

gone in a moment of the lighter’s flash

so we come back full circle.

Sirens sing songs of better days

but be weary of mischievious ways

eyes lurk in shadows, medusa’s gaze

blue skies turn shady gray

Speak with the passion of 1000 hearts beatin,

extendin arms out to the heavens forever reachin.

but that place won’t be destiny when you don’t believe in,

so is there a place just as heavenly to be in?

For someone with moral standin who’s mind is never budgin

Where are we headed on the day of judgement?

Who knows, maybe the destiny is the journey gettin there,

360 degrees of roads we could end up anywhere.

but we’re not getting any younger.

Feels like a date with destiny and destiny is a death wish. 

Maybe I should slow it down a bit.

But sometimes this liquid sediment settling in the pit of my stomach

is the only reason to share my sentiments.

Drown away sorrow, but polluting the mind

releasing fear, hatred, anguish. losing track of time.
 

So I guess it’s worth it.

I guess that’s why they call it liquid courage.

如果是你的就是你的。如果不是你的,不管你拉的多紧以后也会跑掉。

“If it’s meant to be yours then it’ll definitely be yours.  If not, you can try to hold on as hard as you want but it’ll slip from you eventually.” 

Why do we feel the way we do about the opposite?

maybe in the moment you let your heart slip

I happened to have my arms out and I caught it?

maybe you told a lie and I bought it.
 

Tryin to mix this black and white, let go now or stay,

in hopes that it blends into a nice shade of gray.

Maybe in the mind, the grass is greener on the other side,

that’s why I can’t get you out while i write this line.

maybe the yin and yang gives us somethin so sublime,

feels like we’re submerged in the lime light.

but are we lost in this fantasy?

maybe we should just move on to plan B, and just let it breathe 

or we can risk takin the dive suffocatin underneath, 

and create reality out of make believe.

Who knows..

Overthinking,

It’s like a damn plague.  The second guessing begins, and it’s back to the normal routine; imagining every fucking scenario and consequence in your head.  The thoughts rush in, and soon before you know it you have 50 what-if’s playing in your head.  Yea having multiple paths great, but not if you’re forever stuck at the starting line debating which path to take and where each one leads.    

Faced with glaring contradictions

trapped in a box, on a mission

no purpose with pure persistence

ghostly existence face resistence

what to do, play the background 

stay unlisted wishin

for a pot to piss in

maybe somethin’ll fill this whole that’s missin

make use of this ignorance that i’ve been blessed with

dig deep maybe it’s somethin that i can find bliss in

but i’m fightin hard fightin hard 

trapped behind writin my own bars

everything’s glamorous from afar

broken steps reachin for the stars

trapped…

I’m trapped. 

April 7th, 2012 will be one of the most memorable days of my life.  Though I’m writing about it, words cannot come anywhere close to describing the feeling.  First and foremost, the jam was incredible.  It’s a great feeling seeing your hard work pay off, especially when you’re doing something that you love.  

Seeing the Jersey scene come together as a family and being able to get down with old friends that haven’t been around in awhile was awesome.  It’s like we picked right up from where we left off.  A night full of good music and vibes, everything was just right.  Much love to everyone that came out to show their support.  The after party will be forever legendary, haha.  So many good memories.  

Peace and blessings.